I mentioned this briefly before but today I understand a little better.
I love 12wbt and what it has helped ME to achieve.
But I don't want to obsess any longer about it. I don't want to stop, infact my desire to achieve is greater but as I progress and understand more about myself and my health I am finding it a little too intense to think about it ALL the time.
I think it is affecting my family, taking more time than ever before to do my things. And although I don't want this to stop, I need to find more balance. I also need to remember that my youngest will be at four year old kinder next year and I will have more free time than ever before. Time which I hope to have my own PT sessions, swimming, running and shopping!
So between now and then, I need to work on balancing my new lifestyle and understanding my limitations.
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
I ran 5.09km
Now this is huge coz I've never run in my life.
Yesterday afternoon I ran 5.09km in 47 minutes. I did not stop, I did not falter. The last 5 or so minutes were tough, the hips and legs had little left.
I wasnt sure how far I had run as I felt it was better to get the time done first, rather than the distance but I knew that to get to 4km I would need to run probably 40 minutes, so that's what I set out to do.
I bought a new Addidas tshirt, a spy belt and some iTunes songs ( so yes, it was an expensive run), but I didn't want any excuses when things got tough.
I can actually say, I loved it. I remember emmylou saying weeks ago in a tweet that she may or may not have punched the air! Well Em, I did punch the air, twice, coz I was so freaking happy with myself!
Today, I am still happy and a little excited about my effort. My legs are very tired, quite a different feeling than I have had before, its like they have lost some strength, they will get right by tomorrow.
I love my progression with my physical fitness as I never thought I would achieve what I am, and I know there is even more to come, which makes me the happiest I've ever been!
Yesterday afternoon I ran 5.09km in 47 minutes. I did not stop, I did not falter. The last 5 or so minutes were tough, the hips and legs had little left.
I wasnt sure how far I had run as I felt it was better to get the time done first, rather than the distance but I knew that to get to 4km I would need to run probably 40 minutes, so that's what I set out to do.
I bought a new Addidas tshirt, a spy belt and some iTunes songs ( so yes, it was an expensive run), but I didn't want any excuses when things got tough.
I can actually say, I loved it. I remember emmylou saying weeks ago in a tweet that she may or may not have punched the air! Well Em, I did punch the air, twice, coz I was so freaking happy with myself!
Today, I am still happy and a little excited about my effort. My legs are very tired, quite a different feeling than I have had before, its like they have lost some strength, they will get right by tomorrow.
I love my progression with my physical fitness as I never thought I would achieve what I am, and I know there is even more to come, which makes me the happiest I've ever been!
Monday, 10 October 2011
A good nights sleep
So after an early night last night I'm feeling guite good this morning. I've re read my last post and tried to clear the air with myself.
I think(well, I know), that I have concerns about the 4.2km run I am doing in 2 weeks. There are several things that are worrying me. Can I do it, will I get myself too anxious, will I need to wee, will I find a park, find the girls blah it goes on.
I worry that I am spending too much time on the weekends away from my family, Jells each Saturday, Pump class this Sunday the run the following Sunday. I am telling myself that I'm never usually this busy away from family but it just worked out that way this month, it will settle.
And I think I am anxious that I am 39 and maybe I can't achieve like many of the younger girls, even if I do commit 100%.
in saying all that, I refuse to let old demons (fear and anxiety) take over and stop me from living and achieving.
I will push on, try hard and gain my own respect and pride! I will and I am!
I think(well, I know), that I have concerns about the 4.2km run I am doing in 2 weeks. There are several things that are worrying me. Can I do it, will I get myself too anxious, will I need to wee, will I find a park, find the girls blah it goes on.
I worry that I am spending too much time on the weekends away from my family, Jells each Saturday, Pump class this Sunday the run the following Sunday. I am telling myself that I'm never usually this busy away from family but it just worked out that way this month, it will settle.
And I think I am anxious that I am 39 and maybe I can't achieve like many of the younger girls, even if I do commit 100%.
in saying all that, I refuse to let old demons (fear and anxiety) take over and stop me from living and achieving.
I will push on, try hard and gain my own respect and pride! I will and I am!
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Oops....there goes a hiccup!
Jeepers, jeepers, just when I think I'm safe and moving forward, out from the darkness pops old nasty pants!
You know that grumpy old bugger that says, you didn't do well enough, or try hard enough or look good enough or speak well enough! Yes, I thought he was gone, but alas he's a tough nut to crack.
I love my twitter family and Jells girls so much that on Sunday night I started to doubt the 'realness' of the program. 12wbt has consumed me and obsessed me and I have become a little u comfortable with the thought that I am relying too heavily on the program and the lovely people I have met within it.
I worry that I am pushing myself harder than I have before and that perhaps ( and I don't say this with confidence), that I am not able to achieve what I want. Then what happens?
Do I let down myself, my family, my Jells girls, my twitter friends?
Or am I just over thinking things again.
I've not fallen off the tracks. Weight loss is slower this round but cm reduction is high. I'm running well, my hips not sore and I'm happy. So where has this crap feeling come from?
You know that grumpy old bugger that says, you didn't do well enough, or try hard enough or look good enough or speak well enough! Yes, I thought he was gone, but alas he's a tough nut to crack.
I love my twitter family and Jells girls so much that on Sunday night I started to doubt the 'realness' of the program. 12wbt has consumed me and obsessed me and I have become a little u comfortable with the thought that I am relying too heavily on the program and the lovely people I have met within it.
I worry that I am pushing myself harder than I have before and that perhaps ( and I don't say this with confidence), that I am not able to achieve what I want. Then what happens?
Do I let down myself, my family, my Jells girls, my twitter friends?
Or am I just over thinking things again.
I've not fallen off the tracks. Weight loss is slower this round but cm reduction is high. I'm running well, my hips not sore and I'm happy. So where has this crap feeling come from?
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